Winning Your Ex Back
How do you start the process of winning your ex back? Reactions to a relationship break up are as varied as the reasons for the breakup. Some people will take it as an excuse to go on an all night drinking spree while others will retire to sulk in a darkened room, coming up for air once in a while and wallowing in self pity.
So do you want to get your ex back badly? Does the end of the relationship feel like the end of your life? Still smarting over their decision to call it quits? Is there an empty place in your heart and life where your ex used to live?
Firstly you need to do whatever is necessary to deal with the pain. If this means getting drunk, then it’s not to be recommended. The reason for this is simple, if you are intent on winning your ex back, then your tactics and that goal have to be kept from the ex. Rolling up in front of them, smelling of alcohol isn’t going to do it!
The second thing is do not chase. Just lay off the emails, the texts and the potential stalking (particularly if, despite what you have just read, you are still thinking of getting drunk!). Don’t monitor your ex’s movements and happen to show up where they are. If your ex gets the idea that they still have
power over you, well its hardly that attractive is it? Any hint of stalking is a definite no no.
So you want your ex to think that you believe the break up is a good idea, that it is all for the best. Communicate this clearly to all and particularly anyone who knows you both. This doesn’t need any explanation at this stage; you just need to sow the seeds. How you behave in the earliest stages sets the scene for winning your ex back.
You do not want to pursue. You want to be pursued. Note the difference! Take time out to become more positive about yourself. It is often a good idea to purge your negative emotions such as anger and hurt by writing things down. Mention all the good things you shared as well as the hurtful things, perhaps things you wish you had said but didn’t. Once you have finished then tear it all up. Yes you read that right. Do not post the letter; it is for your eyes and heart only.
At this stage you have to work on removing all the negativity from your life and that includes gossiping about your ex. Try and regain some equilibrium and peace in yourself. Then you can go on the attack again!
Keep busy with anything that will help keep you away from your ex. Do those things that you have been meaning to do but didn’t have time to because you were in a relationship or were unable to do because your ex partner didn’t want to do them. Join groups, go walking, learn to sail. Whatever it is you will be sending an unequivocal message to your ex that you really are not bothered about them and are definitely not wasting away in misery.
At this stage if you do think about the relationship, remember what made it strong. Just think about the good times. If by any chance you do talk to your ex at this time, just behave positively and avoid fighting about the issues that ended it. One of the first steps in winning your ex back is to remind them what was good about the relationship.
Now for the grand finale! Start to communicate but slowly does it. Whatever you do you give the message that you are getting on with life. The single most important factor in all of this winning your ex back is to win back your own self respect. Only then do you have a realistic chance of winning your ex back and keeping them!