Making Marriage Work
Remember when you first met? How the butterflies in your tummy just would not keep still? Making marriage work can be hard and at some stage you might find that marital difficulties make those early days of dating just a distant memory.
Making Marriage Work
Its so easy to look back and make comparisons particularly when you are feeling miserable but you have to remember that retaining those butterflies is well nigh impossible, those early days are not the standard by which to judge the marriage.
Marriages can be routine,humdrum even. This can mean happiness for some and constant frustration for others.
When you find that you are trying to make marriage work, there is help around for you, but in the first instance you have to look inwards, just what is it that seems to be souring the relationship? Is it unreasonable expectations?
A desire to be happy is part of the human condition. It is possible to be happy and married at the same time but it often isn’t easy. It will take work. Sometimes you may find yourself staying awake, stressing about making marriage work and realising that you need help. Its at that stage that you need to take some action to rectify things and look at where you are at.
The first step to making marriage work, is to look at how committed you and your partner are to making things work again.If you feel that your only choice is to accept the status quo or leave, then you have to take a deep breathe and communicate.If you really want to make things work between you again and you dont think that this is a bad marriage there are things you can do to go back to that original happy marriage if you both want to.
The second step is to ensure that there is some sort of inducement. I am not talking about bribery here,not manipulation but ensuring that both of you realise that one of the keys to some sort of happiness is the space and contentment to do things that make you happy. Fighting and arguing all the time are not exactly going to make you happy, rather the stress involved can seriously damage your health long term. Deciding on the sort of relationship you want is one of the keys to making marriage work and can be the sort of inducment you both need to perhaps call a truce in order to save your marriage.
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Having looked at the committment and inducements to making marriage work, you will then need a plan. If marriage repair was so easy then many of our relationships would not end in divorce and those that do stay together wouldn’t sometimes feel like insanity. That plan should be a simple one, including regular communication in a good space, having quality time with each other and agreeing from time to time that marriage mattters.
There are many resources available to you when you are making marriage work. ..It is entirely possible that you can make critical mistakes in your attempts to save your marriage, sometimes without being aware of it. Its not your fault though, sometimes the most meaningful advice from friends and family can damage things even more. In reality, its not just enoughto learn to communicate better, that might just teach you how to have a better fight!
There are alternatives to divorce and one of the best guides I have can be found here at;
MAKING MARRIAGE WORK